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Trapped in the Office

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Today I had an embarrassing moment. For the first time, I was the last one in the office. After spending an hour entrenched in work, I walked out of my room and noticed all the lights were off and the large security doors were locked. Then I realized that there was a problem. The glass office doors open outward and with the security metal doors locked from the outside, I couldn't move the glass office doors. I was stuck in the office (movie idea: Office Alone?). I thought about what to do. What were my options? I tried to squeeze my hand out the glass doors to try and twist open the lock of the security door, but my hand would barely fit through the small opening that the glass door could open with the security door closed. Maybe I could stay in the office for the night and sleep on a sofa. There was enough food in the office kitchen. Maybe I could call for help. There was no guard in the building on duty at that hour. All I really needed was for someone to open t...
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Soaking the Beds

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The Gemarah Sanhedrin (9B) relates a story. It once happened that while a Rabbi was delivering a lecture, he noticed a smell of garlic. He said: 'Let him who has eaten garlic go out.' R. Hiyya arose and left; then all the other disciples rose in turn and went out. In the morning R. Simeon, the Rabbi's son, met and asked him: 'Was it you who caused annoyance to my father yesterday?' 'Heaven forbid that such a thing should happen in Israel,' he answered (i.e., he acted with the intention of saving the real offender from humiliation.)  Similarly, once a camp counselor at a sleepaway camp noticed that one of his campers, around age 11, had wet his bed. He knew that this would soon be discovered by the rest of the kids and, the kids would face a humiliation that he would never recover from. The counselor quickly took out a water gun and took the initiative that he wanted the kids to think he was acting crazy. He started squirting down all the beds with water...
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Slipped Away

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The cockroach ran across the bathroom floor and hid in a crevice. I looked around for a weapon, but just found a roll of toilet paper. I stood in the middle of the bathroom ready to react. Then the cockroach crawled out of its crevice and crawled over by the bathtub. It stopped for a moment and didn't move. With all my force, I brought the roll of toilet paper down on top of it. The cockroach flipped over onto its back. Its back legs didn't move, while the front legs flung in the air. I looked around for stronger weapon. I pulled off a wad from the toilet paper to grab the cockroach and put it into the toilet. Then the cockroach flipped over. With its still working front legs, it ran for the crevice under the bathroom door. I tried to catch it, but it slipped away. By the time I opened the door, the cockroach was gone. It got away. Somewhere in the apartment, a wounded cockroach, with two broken back legs, lurked around.
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Red lights

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I stood on the curb waiting to cross the street. Two older ladies stood next to me. No cars were coming and I was tempted to just cross, even though it was a red light for crossing. Another guy came up from behind and charged into the street. "He crossed against the red light. What does it matter if there aren't any cars coming," said one old lady to her friend, "once you start crossing against red lights, you'll be cutting corners and cheating on everything." The light turned green and we all crossed the street.
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The Accident

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"Please don't get upset," my wife said. "What happened?" "Look around at everyone and see they are healthy and safe," she said, "its  a  miracle." She told me had a n 86 year old woman was in the parking lot near her, and she pressed down hard on the gas instead of the brakes. "She smashed straight into the side of the car." All the kids were with her in the car and felt the impact. Luckily it was in a parking lot, and not on a freeway. I hate these situations. First of all everyone was safe and fine. They lady apologized and gave over all her details. After I hugged everyone, then I thought about calling the insurance company. I hate dealing with insurance companies, as well as lawyers. It's like walking into another dimension. Suddenly you are put on the defensive, even if you are innocent, because they assume everyone in lying. This stresses me out. "The old lady lady said she was happy she hit us," my wife...
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The Dealer

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Here is a story I overheard. "I have a friend in California. He was living on a farm growing marijuana, and he got into dealing. Since you can go to any state in the US without passing through a checkpoint, he went everywhere to deliver. He filled up a suitcase full of pot and drove out to his 'customers'. "Then he got lazy. Instead of driving out. He started using the US Postal Service to mail himself the stuff at a PO Box, where he went to pick it up. He got bolder and bolder, and sent larger and larger amounts. The season for harvesting and dealing in pot was well known. His shipments wreaked of marijuana smell. So obviously, they opened the packages. "When he came to pick up his packages, the police were there to arrest him. They charged him and booked him. He took a fancy $40,000 lawyer, and he only had a to spend a month in jail. First offense. No priors. And he was out. Lost all the money he made in dealing." 
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Making Strength out of Weakness

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A burned cake. "Oh I think it's burned," she said, tasting  a piece of the cake, "I guess I was in a rush. What do I do now?" She went to a colleague and discussed the situation. She had a made a cake for her leaving work party. Finally the party took place. She had decorated the cake in the colors and logo of the company. Everyone remarked how creative and well designed the cake was. "Nobody said anything about the taste," she said. She made strength out of weakness.
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